Lessons that men wish women would learn

Balance of Nature???


Lessons that men wish women would learn
By Tingting Cojuangco
The Philippine STAR 02/05/2006

What would men do without women? I received various reactions, such as "We’d be richer," "We’d be empty," "We’d have no one to care for, no one to love," and "I’d be able to watch my favorite channel."

In the spirit of fun, I asked some men: What lesson would you give women for a smoother relationship?

The answers were not surprising at all, and they clamored to have their thoughts published, some claiming it’s worth reminding all you women out there. * * *





• We are not horses. Allow us to look at other women. We can be distracted without necessarily being derailed.

Men complain that women take offense when they look at other women. Men hasten to add that looking at other women doesn’t necessarily mean they covet them. Men claim that they just can’t help but admire beauty. They even joke that they don’t stop their wives and girlfriends from looking at other men. And all the while, of course, we get offended. Why shouldn’t we? And why should men have a roving eye? They married us for better and for worse. They also deformed our female bodies from childbirth. * * *
• Women should learn that relationships can never be "almost perfect" all the time. There will be good times and some bumps.

Some men said that in every relationship, there’s what is called a honeymoon period. In the first couple of months, someone said that as a married couple, his relationship was ideal… perfect almost.

So, women should just stop referring to "before" and "you used to be…," as well as "You always do…(all negative and stated)." * * *
• If you don’t want an answer, don’t ask the question.

Or, to put it another way, "If you ask a question and you don’t want an answer other than the one you expected, that then don’t ask the question."

Men say that women often know the answer to confrontational questions, but they ask the question anyway even if they know that the truth can hurt them. Why do women persist in knowing and asking and hoping that men will give them an answer they want? Or worse, even a lie. Guys assert that if we pride ourselves on possessing women’s instincts, then we should know the answer he’ll give us which can cause more pain. So why do we ask? * * *
• When you want something, say it outright.

Insinuations and subtle hints are a waste of time and a waste of energy. Because of that, men claim women love playing word games or just games. They are amazed at how eloquent we are when we are when angry, but seemingly out of words when we are not. Could women stop dropping hints when they want something and just say it straight out? * * *
• Don’t prod us to lengthen our answers when we can give them in short, decisive ones: yes and no.

The words "yes" and "no" are in a man’s dictionary. They remind us they are perfectly acceptable answers.

Men can’t understand why women can’t take a simple "yes" or a simple "no" for an answer. They complain of being pushed to make a longer response when their "yes" or "no" seems clear enough.

Statistics state that women use an average of 20,000 communication words, sounds and gestures in a day, while men use only an average of 7,000. We say that they have accepted that women speak in paragraphs. "They wish women would realize that men can get their message across in a word." * * *
• Men don’t like justifying their decision. That’s undermining their authority and challenging their wisdom.

"When women ask us to make a decision, will they accept it?" one man asked. * * *
• Avoid blackmailing us with pouts and tears.

You may be able to get what you want sometimes, but definitely, you won’t get it all the time. Our partners see this as one of the main causes of disagreements, some men say.

Females think men are just too insensitive. Males think women are too sensitive. Men feel that a woman’s wily ways can be entertaining at times. However, done too much and too often, they say it becomes irritating. * * *
• We have lives outside of a relationship. We can’t be thinking of you all the time.

Some men feel suffocated when women expect too much from them. They sense pressure from their wives when they don’t call in during the day or forget to ask if they’ve had a meal. Men like more freedom in their relationships with their friends. If there’s some oversight, men prefer that their mates not crucify them for it. * * *

I’m not going to say the men have raised legitimate and reasonable points. I’m not going to write that women should open their minds to the men’s pleas. But probably Vittorio Gassman, an Italian actor of the ’60s, best described the age-old relationship between genders. He said, "Men don’t understand anything about women and women understand nothing about men. And it’s probably better that way."